Beyond Comfort Zones
- sarahkulawic
- Dec 16, 2021
- 6 min read
Updated: Dec 17, 2021
Throwing it way, way back to my original intention of this blog (and the instagram page that followed) which was to find purpose in my healing journey and to not back down from experiences that made me uncomfortable. It has been an incredible 8 months of learning to be myself again, how to be comfortable being alone and how to push past my fears and adventure into the unknown without anyone beside me.
If you have read any of the beginnings of my blogs you might already know that my sister (Rachel) and her husband (Jason) have moved halfway across the world to Germany for work. They expect to be there for a number of years and without a doubt it has been a tough go losing my best friend to Europe but I got to visit them for a few weeks and wanted to share a few experiences and lessons along the way.
Rachel and Jason have both been monumental in my healing process, their company, laughs, mini therapy sessions and late nights playing games have been some of my favourite memories of this past year. It has been exceptionally difficult adjusting to life with them in a different time zone and while they lived in Kingston before moving to Germany, it was fairly easy to see them on a regular basis. Watching their life unfold since they left in July in a different country has me incredibly thankful for social media and our ability to be in touch at any time of day. But being in each others presence was something we had been counting down the minutes for since the moment they left.
Mama Kools and I booked plane tickets a few months ago knowing that it was slightly risky considering the always changing policies surrounding covid/travelling and Rachel and Jasons work schedules but is there ever a "perfect time"? Probably not, and plane tickets were on sale. Fast forward to November 25th and Mama and I were making our way to the airport for the long journey to Germany. We flew out of the Toronto airport which went seamlessly, and then had a few hour layover in Frankfurt which is where the culture shock began to hit us.
As soon as we stepped off the plane, we were out of place. The signs were in German, everyone was speaking a language we couldn't even begin to attempt tp understand and we were already exhausted from travel and excited to see Rae and Jason which probably wasn't helping our anxiety levels. Being ushered through a security line and playing charades with the officers before trying to find our gate for the next flight was a whirlwind but it was only the beginning and I will always be in awe of these two for transitioning so well into the expat life and everything it throws at them.
What an indescribable feeling, the first hug after many long months apart. Being in Europe was exciting but being with my best friends again was priceless. They live in a tiny village not super close to any city centers but within easy driving distance to many fantastic landmarks, historical locations and opportunities for adventures.
Due to covid, we had to be willing to change plans and that's exactly what happened, specifically having to cancel the plans to spend a few days in Amsterdam. We were mildly disappointed but easily made other plans that were just as memorable in it's place. The visit was a whirlwind of Christmas markets, falling in love with Gluhwein (mulled wine) and so many different German market foods. It was laughter, game nights, cheesy Christmas movies and adventuring our way through new cities.
We visited various cities between Germany and the Netherlands including Geilenkirchen, Sittard, Valkenburg, Dusseldorf, Bonn, Maastricht, Trier, Koln, Nijmegen and Groesbeek. My highlights would have to be the underground Christmas market in Valkenburg (it was a giant market in caves), the markets scattered throughout the city of Dusseldorf, each with their own characteristics and the war museum and Irish pub experience in Nijmegen.
The two weeks were certainly different than the adventures I am used to taking. Instead of mountains and hiking trails I was walking city sidewalks and historical landmarks, instead of isolation and barely speaking to other people I was in crowds and attempting to communicate in foreign languages with hand gestures. It's odd how I can be comfortable in the middle of the woods by myself but plunk me down in a city and I instantly feel out of place, anxious and overwhelmed. Thankfully Rachel and Jason have already been getting accustomed to the way of life and language, it allowed for some peace of mind when in places that were so incredibly foreign to us. But without a doubt some of the most challenging experiences in terms of pushing past my limits of comfort and living outside the box of what I know.
Some takeaways:
1) Free washroom use does not exist? If you're lucky enough to find a washroom at all, be prepared to pay to use it. Making sure we always had spare change on us got to be a habit because from malls to coffee shops to port-a-potties, there was a fee to pee.
2) Driving is anything but straightforward (literally.) If you're from North America, they thankfully drive on the right side of the road but the road rules, roundabouts and highways are also incredibly different than you're used to. If you're going to rent a car and plan on doing some driving, it would be a good idea to briefly familiarize yourself with ways of the roads.
3) Everyone is going to assume you speak German (or Dutch). They will instantly begin to converse in a language that you more than likely don't understand and trying to find a way to interrupt to let them know you don't understand will always be awkward. I felt like if I said "Do you speak English?" it was exhausting to say after a while and I was always concerned I was going to offend them (socially anxious person problems) but I also found if I just said "english?" it was so abrupt. I ended up sticking with the latter most of the time and it was generally well accepted and most people were able to at least speak basic English to get by. 4) Have plenty of Euros with you! I was lucky enough that I knew Rachel and Jason would be able to access their bank accounts and I could just settle up with them after the fact but especially if you plan on going at this time of year with Christmas markets or into smaller shops the cities. Not everywhere accepts North American Visa/Mastercard, many places prefer Euros and ATMs didn't allow us to withdraw cash, we had to find a bank.
5) Be prepared to be uncomfortable. Language barriers, driving frustrations, and a different way of life are all stressors that can impact your journey. If you plan on visiting and expect it to be stress free then you're in for a surprise. Download google translate and learn how to use the different translate functions before you go, attempt to learn the basics like "please", "thank you" and your numbers 1,2,3 to make it easier when attempting to communicate, order menu items or drinks.
Overall I had the best time, the most belly-aching laughs and wonderful experience getting my first little taste of Europe. I am glad to be home and settling into a routine but I already can't wait to go back and check a few more destinations off my bucket list.
If anyone wants a more in depth blog on expat life, day trips in/around Germany then check out my sisters blog! (www.wanderingrae.de/) She discusses everything from daily life, places to visit and hidden gems to grab food.
After wrapping up this blog and making it though the holidays, I am in the process of planning my next adventure out West, spending more time in Jasper and the magnificent snow and winter activities that we don't quite get in Ontario. If you have any suggestions of what I should do or where I should go, send me a message I'd love to hear from you!
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